Poker Group Invites New Couple into Swinging

He opened the envelope and pulled out the wad of papers. Most were blank but the top two had some writing on them. He began reading aloud:

My Dearest Austin,

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How goes the search for information and background history of Thomas Edwards? I bet you thought this packet would be of great benefit to you in your endeavors to locate the true me. Now that is the question. What do we know about him? We know he has a beautiful wife. We know he was in the Army. We don’t know about any relatives.

Let me help you. First, I do have a beautiful wife. One who has been defiled and one who may need to have vengeance sowed on her behalf. (I’ll let you know about that later….)

Yes, I was in the Army. My DD214 would’ve showed you my enlistment date and when I left service (if I left service). It would’ve listed the ribbons and medals I earned as well as listed my deployments. It would’ve showed you my MOS. Austin, if you’re unaware, MOS is short for Military Occupational Specialties. I was designated 11Bravo (11B) Basic infantry. Perhaps it was actually 13Fox (13F) Fire Support Specialist. Then again, the way you all are getting played, I could’ve been 17Bravo (17B), a Cyber & Electronic warfare Officer or 17Charlie (17C) Cyber Operations Specialist. I’ll share I definitely wasn’t 18X-ray (18X) Special Forces Candidate.

More than likely I was 12Whiskey (12W) Carpentry and Masonry Specialist. Because, as you know form Ken, I don’t use my head, I just swing a hammer. That might mean 12Bravo (12B) Combat Engineer or 12November (12N) Horizontal Construction engineer. You folks did some Horizontal Destruction Engineering on my marriage! Get it? Yes, I do have some humor left. I may or may not have listed my actual MOS. You have the brains; I got the tiny dick. Ha! More humor? You figure it out.

Any luck on my name? Is it the name that was on my original birth certificate? You caught the word original, didn’t you? Is that my actual date of birth? Am I Thomas E. Edwards? I might be in WITSEC. Does Deputy Collins know anyone in the United States Marshall’s Service? Raylin Givens maybe?

Then again, Mark and Mary are going to have their hands full when their investigation comes to see the light of day. Sorry I couldn’t leave any pizza or other breadcrumbs for you Austin. Good luck.

Tommy (or is it?) 

Austin looked at me as the color drained from his face and asked me, “How the fuck did he do that?”

“Do what honey?”

“Well, Tommy left me a letter and a bunch of blank sheets and that’s it. He knew almost verbatim what Ken told me. I thought I had a clever idea on what to do, but now I’m just at a total loss of how to proceed or what direction I needed to go. I need to get the guys together.” Austin made four phone calls and suddenly the group are assembled in our game room.

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